Capability Benchmark

Capability (in my definition) is the ability to stretch yourself to new heights in order to achieve your goal. If someone can run a marathon in 6 hours, they are extremely capable. Does this mean, someone who cannot run a marathon is not capable. Of course not, because running a marathon was not their goal in the first place.

Capability therefore cannot be defined as the ability to achieve ANY goal. It is all about the goal that matters to you.

There are a lot of individuals who constantly compare themselves with others and feel they are not capable enough. Vice versa also holds true. Many more individuals think they have long list of accomplishments under their belt so they are more capable than their peers. There are a lot of home makers in India who are extremely under confident because they think they are not capable of going to swanky offices and discussing politics with intelligent looking men. Behind the closed doors of their households, they are constantly criticized for not being a good enough cook, cleaner, nurse, and sex partner. Is this acceptable?

Someone who stays awake by the bed side of an ailing child for days and nights is equally hardworking and capable as someone who stays behind a desk, burning mid night oil on a project report. Both roles are equally challenging and, more importantly, essential for the society today. Therefore, both should be equally acknowledged and rewarded. Unfortunately, while the good work at a job receives public acclaim, good home management is rarely recognized.

A song from my school days has always inspired me–

“All things bright and beautiful, all creatures great and small

All things wise and wonderful, the Lord God made them all”

Because everything was created equal, we are no one to decide if we are more or less than anyone/anything around us. We are just a small but significant part of the world that we live in. We are here to do our part, like all others around us. By considering others as incapable, we prove none other, but ourselves, incapable of understanding this basic rule.

Thoughts that count

Since the last few days, life has been chaotic. Too much to do and too many thoughts in mind. And yet at the end of the day, when I want to write, not one thought seems to fall through straight enough that I can write. 

By the time I write the title for one thought, and start the body, another thought has already taken hold which makes the first thought fade away. I have started at least 5 blogs today but saved them for a later day. 

So the only thought that matters today is that all my other thoughts need some time to sort out. That’s fair and I am glad I realized it as I started to write. Before I started writing, I was kind of overwhelmed with the number of thoughts and emotions going around. Writing helped to identify that though the thoughts might be many, none of them matter enough to really think about them too much.

My next blog will have to wait for a thought that counts. 

Walking and Me

After a long day of juggling responsibilities, managing perceptions, meeting some expectations, failing others; all I want to do is go for a walk. Walking and me are kind of soul mates and we like to unwind the day together out on the bustling roads of our city. To give us good company, we invite Music and Breeze as well. Off late, Rain has also been keeping us company but it is not as predictable. 

As we all go down together on the streets, we have around us – crowds of people, traffic, dust, noise and pollution. However, when we are on the road, none of these external environmental factors matter to us. We in fact don’t even notice them. Some of these factors might even be jealous of us as we are out there amidst all of them, yet alone, having a ball all by ourselves.

Walking is the therapy more for my mind than my body. As I tell the stories of my busy day to it, it helps me analyze the day objectively, put events and objects into perspective and trash the junk of anger and frustration if I have built any during the day. By the end, both my mind and body are rejuvenated.

We came together about an year back and have been out there together almost every night, sometimes alone, sometimes in company of others. As I grow old, I am not sure if Walking will still enjoy my company. I hope, if it likes me enough it will help me develop both my mind and my body so that we can enjoy each others company for many many more years to come.

Jumping to Conclusions

I went through an embarrassing situation a couple of days ago. Thankfully, only I understood the source of my embarrassment and hence did not have to face the humiliation of being publicly prosecuted. I am writing a blog about it is so I can remember the important lesson I learnt out of it.

As I dropped my little sweetheart to her class one fine Sunday evening, I was as usual in high spirits. I drove my scooter out of the apartment complex and was enjoying the light breeze on my face and in my hair. Coming from the other side of the road, I saw another scooterist slightly confused and not sure on which side of the road he should drive. I smiled inwardly and smirked at his silliness. How could one not know which side to drive. I managed to cross him safely avoiding a collision and entered another intersection, onto another road leading home. 

This is when it dawned on me why the scooterist was confused. He did not know which side to ride on, because I was riding on his side of the road. I remember he looking at me and trying to tell me I was on the wrong side. But I, in my spirits did not even notice it. I also realized, he was not smirking or laughing at me. And it was not me, but he, who avoided the collision.

So many times we jump to conclusions, blaming others for deeds, events, mistakes, problems in our lives. Many times, we realize soon after that we were wrong. However, by then, the damage is already done and we have no way of undoing it. 

I hope I remember this incident the next time when I am about to jump to a conclusion and assign fault. 

Those of you who are trying to interpret this incident and prove your point – “All women are bad drivers”, I will only say “Don’t jump to hasty conclusions” 🙂

Believing vs. Seeking

Before I start, I must confess these are not my original thoughts. These are thoughts from Sadhguru, a spiritual leader, I have been reading upon. 

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In order to believe, we must already know. When we know, we stop seeking more. In the process we stop learning. So which is better, believing or seeking?

Sadhguru compares Believing to Religion. Our religion tells us to follow a certain path in life, and we believe the path is right. If we are religious, we never question the belief and we continue to conduct ourselves in the manner as preached by our religion.

On the other hand, Seeking is like Spirituality. On our spiritual journey, we just know one fact and the fact is that – We don’t know. This fact is like a constant pull that keeps moving us forward towards answers. In the end what do we end up finding –  Ourselves!

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I am sure this has left quite a few readers confused. Feel free to share your thoughts on Religion vs. Spirituality. If you want to know more about Sadhguru, visit ishafoundation.org

Rain Drops, Rain Drops, Fall upon my window

Sparkle on the leaves and twist the lemon tree

Rain drops, Rain drops, down the hill and through the meadow

No time to stop on the journey to the sea.

My fav song from school. Had so much singing it with Toyna today. We were singing it when it started to drizzle, and every time we said “rain drops” it started to rain a little harder. By the time we reached home, it was raining cats and dogs, and Toyna kept singing “Rain drops”. 🙂

Way to Mans heart is through his career

Article from The Times, 17th June 2012.

This is definitely true for men (and women) who are very passionate about their careers. In these cases, the career is often the first spouse. After all, in most cases, they were  already married to it, before they even met you. As the married spouse if you try fight for attention outside of the career, you are most likely going to lose. Supporting the career and building it together provides a sense of achievement and purpose to marriage as well. For me and my husband, our business(s) is our second child. The love and passion we have for it is now not only his, but ours together. 

I once got a very sound advice from my sister – If you cannot defeat the enemy, it makes sense to join the enemy. 

Back to School!

School started today and life goes back to the old humdrum of living by the clock. Did I miss it? Not one bit! Am I looking forward to it? Definitely yes! How can someone look forward to something, when it wasn’t even missed in the first place? The answer lies deep in the fascinating mysteries of a mothers heart! As a mother, I love everything about my daughter! Relaxing and rolling around with her in the holidays was fun, but school is going to be it’s own kind of fun. Poking her in the morning to wake her up, dressing her up for school, dropping her to the bus, and the continuous bick bick that goes on between the two of us all the way, are all moments I love to start my day with. My favorite part of the whole routine is to pick her back from school. As her bus nears the stop, my heart starts racing to get a glimpse of her again. And the most amazing thing is that I can see the same emotion in her eyes as well. The minute she sees me, her eyes light up and all the hundred stories of the day are lined up for the 5 minute walk back to home. 

It is indeed a wonder that I still feel this way about sending her to school. After all, she has been in school for over 4 years now. But the feeling is as fresh as it was the first year. While she will continue to go to school and my heart will continue to beat the same way for her, I know, the time will come soon, when she will stop noticing me as she does now. When she came back from school today, someone commented she is almost as tall as my shoulder. My instant reaction was not pride, it was a pang – “Already?”

Being a mother is the most rewarding and at the same time the most painful role that any one can play. The bewildering fact is that even the pain is considered a reward for being a mother!!