Symptoms of Split Personality Disorder

Eiffel Tower

I love children! I love anything to do with them. I love their smile, their clothes, their toys, their books and even the smell of their skin. In the past, when I have travelled alone, I have missed my two little ones so badly that I have managed to ruin my travel sulking about not having them around. In such situations, when I spot any willing kids on flights or busy market streets, I go down on my knees to talk to them; share a joke or just smile with them. It is my way of healing myself; giving my soul what it needs.

Today, as I boarded my long flight to Paris, I was playing a guessing game with myself, thinking what kind of person would be sitting next to me during the flight. I like this game, guessing the nature of the person and the conversations we can have together. Meeting new people is one of the reasons I have started loving to travel. No matter what I guess, my track record states that I will always be wrong. Nonetheless, I still play this game just to be pleasantly surprised with the choices of people, God sends my way.

As I settled in my seat and opened my blanket to drape it over my cold shoulders, a little baby crawled over to me and said, “Boo!”. Instinctively, I smiled and reached over to pick her up. People were still walking in the aisle and it was not a safe or a clean place for the baby to crawl. Catching the baby in one hand, I looked curiously around the line of chairs to spot her parents. I caught the eye of her disheveled mother, deep into conversation with the air hostess. She nodded her head at me as if thanking me for catching her baby for a while. She lugged her bags and slowly came towards us. I was assuming she would be searching for her seats, but to my surprise she settled her bags on the seat next to me. The realization that this mother and daughter duo were my companions for the next 9 hours made me giddy.

My heart sank. I did not want to have the company of this baby for the next nine hours. I did not want loud squeals in my ears or smelling diapers in my nose. I was just not mentally prepared for this. Oh God! Not today.

To my relief, the Air hostess came around in a few minutes and offered the mother another set of seats which would give her more room to handle the baby. The mother politely refused the offer as she had already settled in her chair. I was disappointed but quick thinking came to my rescue. I offered to change my seat on the pretext that an empty seat would give more room to the mother and her baby.

I slowly relaxed my crossed fingers as the Air Hostess smiled in acceptance and the mother thanked me profusely for being so considerate. Little did she know that I was making this change for me and not for her.

So what changed today? How did I transform from someone who loves children to someone who could not bear the thought of an adorable baby being next to me for nine hours? I guess the answer lies in the fact at my frame of my mind I chose to carry with me today. When I am travelling with children, I am prepared to be on my toes. I carry toys, snacks and movies to be keep them engaged. I have switched on my Mother Mode. In this mode, if you hand me two more kids, I will happily accept. The more the merrier. Simply because, the more there are, the more they will be engaged within themselves without my intervention.

But today, when I kissed my sweethearts’ good bye, I switched off my Mother Mode and turned on the “Single Happy Woman Traveler” mode. In this mode, I focus on soaking in the world around me and listening to my deepest inner voices. God knows, I couldn’t have done that with a baby blabbering in my face.

How can someone love children and yet behave like this at the same? Does it make me a person with Split Personality Disorder? Maybe you can say so. I would proudly accept the diagnosis. I am proud to say that I split my personalities many times in a day between that of a Mother, Manager, Writer, Friend, and Daughter (not to mention cook, cleaner, etc.) If you think about it, each personality needs different behaviors and I literally switch off one mode to move into another mode. Amongst all these modes, one of the rarest mode that I get to experience is the “Single Happy Woman Traveler” mode. Given the opportunity to live in this mode for nine hours, I was pretty sure I did not want anything to come in its way.
If you want to judge me for that, feel free. In my defense, I will only say that I did check on the mother daughter duo, from time to time, to see if they were doing fine on their own. The check just proved that my decision to stay away was right. There was utter chaos on my ex seat and I was happy not being a part of it!

P.S. When Indigo Airlines reserved some rows as “No Children” rows, I could totally relate to where they were coming from. It is not discrimination on the basis of age. It is simply respect for time and peace of some travelers, who really value and need it.

Collection of Old Memories from Early Years with Yog

Early years with Yog

December 1, 2013

How do you know when you are spending too much time in the wrong place? Looking for a pen to sign a check and end up going in the kitchen to pick one. Almost picked a knife before I realized it is not a pen! God Save Me!

April 2, 2013

Age: minus 3 months

Specialty: The time when you can actually kick your mother awfully hard and still be praised for it.


June 24, 2013

Switched on the laptop after about a week and am flooded with update messages – windows update, skype update, tumblr update…. At this pace, by the time I get back to work, I will need a head to toe update for myself ad well. 🙁

July 6, 2013

Dear all, Thank you for your wishes! I apologize for not answering some calls and responding to all messages individually. You see, Yog and I had a busy night yesterday partying with Milk bottles and dirty diapers. No wonder then, that since morning we have had a serious hangover and have been extremely busy trying to resolve that. Nonetheless, I have managed to check all messages and really thank you for them. I know it is going to be an exciting year ahead

July 28, 2013

Diaper – check; Bottle – check; Burp – check; Blanket – check; Fan- check; All Out – check; Sleep – why not checked in till now 🙁

August 18, 2013

The latest popular family game we are playing at home – Catch-Catch How the game is played: One person brings a new infection home, is treated for it and recovers. Before he/she recovers, they have to find a way to transfer the same to another person in the family, without the new person coming to know about it. This next person has to somehow modify the virus/bacteria in a way that the same medicine is no longer effective and hence the doctor needs to be visited again. They finally recover but not before passing it on in the chain. Other rules – 1. The infection can be passed on to more than one person at a time 2. One person can catch the infection more than once within the same cycle 3. Points are deducted for each extra day you hold the infection without passing it on 4. And the final rule – No matter who starts the game or who passes the infection, the final winner is always – THE DOCTOR

STATUTORY WARNING – Please don’t try this game at home.

September 6, 2013

When Yog was born, I was telling a friend how busy life is “I dont even get time for my bio breaks” A few days ago she called to check how I am doing. I told her “Oh! that problem was solved. I no longer get time to eat or drink during the day now. ”

September 18, 2013

It’s been a long day and I am tired. Toyna comes to me and says:, ” I know why adults get tired. ”

Me (thinking she is going to lecture me on good food habits and exercise ): Please tell me why

Toyna: Because they have children! !!

September 20, 2013

Toyna and me are both practicing Cursive Writing. Reason – So her teacher can understand what she writes and she can understand what I write. It is quite hard for me to write legibly with a pen anymore! I know only I can understand my office notes scribbled on my notepad. Good thing about that, I never had to worry about data privacy. 🙂

September 27, 2013

Why did God make only 24 hours in a day? And even if he did that, why did he make the human body such that we need to sleep atleast 7 hours in that day. 🙁 I am sure God was never a woman!

October 4, 2013

The hardest thing for a mother is to transition her child into the hands of another care giver, whether its a nanny, play school or even a spouse. Someone who was literally a part of you for nine months and has been so close to you ever since; has to be left with someone else. Tearful reality!

 October 1, 2013

Day Two of Yog in office. He has been sleeping so much more soundly at work than he ever did at home. Does he safer and contended here or does he assume thst this is the place meant to sleep! !!

October 22, 2013

I think infant meal time brings out the deepest creative talents out of any mother. One month into it and I have tried toys, music, reading, singing ryhmes, hoola dancing, acrobatics (performed by elder siblings), peek a boo, and yes even TV. Each new thing works well the first time and then follows the law of depreciating returns. Running out of options, I today found a new blue color ball, with colorful patterns, hooked on a red stand making it easy to rotate with infant hands. Yog was super excited to hold it, read about it, rotate it and finally chew it. By the end of the meal, we had conquered the whole world with carrot khichdi, gummy wars and cooing speeches! What a great way to start the day! I am already looking forward to World War 2 now.

October 28, 2013

Most adults use five senses to learn about the world. My little one just uses one – Taste! Everything from books, toys, blankets, wires, utensils and even carpets are being experienced using the mouth and tongue. God save me!


Many more to follow….