World of No Lies

We are all guilty of lying. Sometimes we lie for the good of others, like when I crush Flax seeds inside a fruit smoothie and completely deny it when the children ask. Sometimes we lie for our own good, like when Pavan and I go for a date telling the kids we are off to a business meeting. Yes, we could convince them that Mama Papa need time, etc, etc, but sometimes it is just simpler and faster to lie.

No one remembers the exact date or year they learnt to lie. In my experience of bringing up children and seeing nephews and nieces grow, I think by age 5 or 6, children have figured that they need not be honest all the time. As parents, we are all well aware of how we feel when our children lie to us. No matter, how many lies we have said (or still say) to our parents, it is very difficult to take lies from our own children. There is nothing much in this context. Therefore, that is not the subject of the blog today.

For today, I want to record the magic of the world where lies don’t exist. I want to share Yogs world with you. Yog is 4 and he is still unaware of the concept called Lie. For example, he still asks me before he pulls a chocolate from the fridge. If he has not asked me before, he promptly tells me after he has eaten it. His eyes slightly downcast, he will come and softly whisper around me, hoping I have not heard his confession about the chocolate. He wishes that I do not get to know of that missing chocolate, but he cannot help but tell me about it, himself. In his small world, he still believes that rules (like ask before you eat a chocolate) should be followed.

In this little world, he also believes everything that he hears or sees. Here are some examples:

Nani (Grandmother, joking with Yog): Yog, you look like a girl

Yog: No, I am not a girl

Nani: But you look like a girl to me

Yog: Nani, you need to go to the doctor to check your eyes

Yog cannot comprehend that Nani is kidding with him. He truly believes that Nani is saying what she really thinks.

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Taekwondo Master: Yog you are fat. You need to lose weight

Yog (telling me later about it): Mama, Master thinks I am fat

Me: I don’t think you are fat (maybe just a little round on the edges) Why did the master say you are fat?

Yog: Mama, I said, “Master thinks I am fat”. I know I am not fat. Master thinks I am fat because master cannot think properly.

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Read more examples on how Yog’s elder cousin brother fools around with him sometimes but Yog always believes it to be true.

In his world, Yog knows what is right. He knows what cannot be. He knows there are no jokes. He doesn’t know there is something called lies. This world is so simple and straight forward. I love and envy his world at the same time. I know it is just a matter of time before he learns to bend the rules. It is just a matter of time before he reaches five. It is just a matter of time when the world starts to leave it’s mark on him.

Till then, we continue to enjoy his debates and opinions on his world. Sometimes when he runs out of logic to explain an aspect of life (like why boys have penis and girls have breasts) he points up to the sky, widens his eyes for emphasis and says, “God made them like that!” After all, there cannot be any further discussion after the word of God.

Mind before Heart

One rotten apple on a tree does not mean all apples are rotten
One bad father does not mean all fathers are bad
One bad Guru does not mean all Gurus are bad

Don’t eat an apple with your eyes closed
Don’t accept exploitation even from your own father
Don’t follow a Guru leaving aside your own logic

Whose Side are You?

We are all looking to blame someone for everything wrong happening in the world today – blame Muslims for terrorism, blame Hindus for rapes, blame Modi for economy, blame Congress for corruption, blame Trump for IT slump, blame blame blame…

It is so easy to generalize segments, brand them and blame them. It gives us a false sense of security. It makes us think the problem is not with us but with someone else. If we want to solve the problem, first step is to stop segmenting ourselves into brands. There should only be two sides – human and inhuman.

It is time to really choose.