13 years ago on the day of 8th February, Pavan and I, both of us a little too young, a little too tired and sleepy, smashed lumps of jaggery concoction on each others heads, accepting each other as our partners for life. I remember that day as a heady mix of mantras, sarees, jewelry and confusion.
We never really went for a formal honeymoon, but life from there on just seemed like a never ending honeymoon. Days following the marriage, we couldn’t stay away from each other for more than 30 minutes in a day. The fact that we both worked in the same organisation made it easy for us to be together. If someone was to even suggest that we spend a day without each other, I would get tears in my eyes. I used to look at older siblings and their relationships with their spouses and wonder how they could live without their love being around them, all the time. In those days, I was naive enough to think that the spouses who could stay physically far from each other, did not love each other enough. They ought to learn a thing or two about love from Pavan and me. 🙂
By the time we reached our First Anniversary, the honeymoon was over. 8th Feb 2004, I was in London 7717 kms away from Pavan. In those days, we did not have Whatsapp, Viber, or Facetime, because both of us did not even have a mobile phone. I would have of course called Pavan on a LAN line phone, except for the fact that I was travelling within UK that day. By the time I got access to a Pay Phone, Pavan was not at home. When he reached back home, I could not access a Pay phone. In summary, we did not manage to speak/see/hug/gift each other on our very special day. More so, being in a foreign land among strangers, no one wished me on my special day either. I was heartbroken. I sulked, cried and felt like taking the first flight back to be with Pavan. But I couldn’t. Job commitments and financial constraints forced me do the brave thing. So Yes, by our first anniversary, I was slowly coming out of the
“Happily Ever After” fairy tale and was being forced to come to terms with reality.
8th Feb 2005, I was eight months pregnant with Toyna. Pavan and me had shifted to a one bedroom apartment close to office because I was not able to cope with the travel to work each day. Pavan had his MBA exam the next day and he was late coming home from his MBA classes. I slowly wobbled to the market, on my own, with a stiff back and aching legs. I bought two red roses and hid them behind his pillow as the Anniversary gift. That was the first anniversary, we slept together, his arms hugging my round belly.
8th Feb 2006, Toyna was 10 months old. I don’t remember how we spent the anniversary. Most probably, it went somewhere in between dirty diapers, milk bottles or doctor visits.
8th Feb 2007 – no memory
8th Feb 2008 – no memory
8th Feb 2009 – no memory
8th Feb 2010 – no memory
8th Feb 2011 – no memory
8th Feb 2012 – no memory
8th Feb 2013 – Wow! It had been ten years that we have been married. Plus, I am again 6 months pregnant with our second one. We went to a small resort near home to celebrate 10 years of surviving each other.
8th Feb 2014 – no memory, maybe Pavan was travelling at of station at that time.
8th Feb 2015 – no memory, no memory, maybe Pavan was travelling internationally at that time.
8th Feb 2016 – I did not even remember that our Anniversary was coming up. Those who commented, “Awwww! You won’t be together on your anniversary!” got only a smile from my side. I admit, 10 years ago, I would have been a nervous wreck on this day, if Pavan was not by my side.
Looking back, I can’t help but marvel how much, Pavan and me, have grown as individuals, over the years. I can’t help but laugh at the newly wed me, who wanted Pavan by her side 24 * 7. I can’t help but thank God for giving me sense to say “Yes, I do!” to Pavan.
Looking forward, I don’t see we being happily married for many more years to come. I just see both of us being bestest friends till death does us apart (Toyna is now my new Best Friend, so Pavan had to be promoted to “Bestest”). We have given so much love to each other that we don’t need each other to complete us physically, emotionally or spiritually anymore. We are happy to have helped each other feel complete on their own. Perhaps, this is the best gift Pavan could have given me on our first or last anniversary.
Cheers to us.. till death does us physically apart!