I am the Mother. In case you are not aware, I am the one behind waking up the children in the morning, getting them dressed, checking on their school work, packing lunch boxes and dropping them to school. I am the one, attending Parent Teacher Meetings, participating in school events and networking with like-minded parents in the school. And in case you didn’t know, I am the one who searched through multiple forums, spoke to endless parents and finally shortlisted you, as the school for my children.
In return, don’t you think, it is my right to be considered as the Primary Caregiver for my children? But No, something in your old traditional system stops you from bestowing that title to me. You would rather stick to history and tradition and chose the Primary Caregiver as the “Father”. Don’t get me wrong! I am still happily married, and I love my children’s father. He is a great Dad!!
But how do I explain the situation to you!?! You see, my husband and I run a business together and he needs to travel most days of the month because I choose to stay in town, with the kids. However, in your records he is listed as the Primary Caregiver and therefore, the person to contact for anything related to our children. You send him text messages, emails and invitations which bounce off his phone most of the times because he is traveling. The ones that do reach him, do reach us, just a few days late. I have waited on bus stops not knowing if it is a holiday and missed school buses, not knowing that the bus timing had changed. For my younger kid, I have been waiting patiently to see if he has even qualified for the school interview. I admit I have sometimes cheated and marked my phone number under my husbands name. I still wonder how, but your smart IT system figured this anomaly and punished me by marking me as a mother of someone else’s child.
Sigh! Don’t you think this is unfair? I think I deserve to receive information first hand and have the ability to act on the information on time. It is my humble request to you to please consider the Mother as the Primary Caregiver. It is not that the Father doesn’t need to know. Please be assured that we do keep the Father informed on each score, award, or remark from the school.
I sincerely hope that this simple request is not bloated into a Womans Rights Issue debate. This is a simple reality not only in India but largely all countries in the world. Most women take pride and pleasure in being the Primary Caregiver and love the fact that our husbands earn enough to support us in playing the role. You can speak to my husband, if you need any confirmation or validation on this distribution of responsibility. I wish I could offer you to directly speak to him on the same, but sadly you will need to go through me to get an appointment on his calendar. He is travelling right now and will pass all unregistered numbers to me to follow up on.