After a long gap, yesterday, I was down with fever again. Around 5 in the evening, I could no longer continue to work, so decided to pack my bags and head home. Immediately upon reaching the home, I went to my room to catch some rest. This bothered Yog, as he is used to me hugging and cuddling him as I get home. He followed me into the room. Toyna followed him behind and like a big elder sister explained to him that Mama was not well and had to rest. She took him outside to play and quietly shut the door of my room. Even though my body was crying in pain, my heart smiled at her concern.
With the door shut to the outside world and the evening sun setting down, my room settled into a peaceful dark zone. All my senses crashed and I slept fitfully for some time. As my mind and body relaxed, some of my energy levels returned. I got out of bed and went down looking for the kids. They were playing in the living room, amidst a huge spill of toys and books. Toynas school books were scattered on the dining table, indicating a failed attempt to finish her homework on her own. I went to sit down with them and finally managed to give Yog his pending hug. As I slowly settled in and soaked in my surroundings, I requested Toyna to clean up some of the toys. I chided Yog for making such a mess. At the same time, I asked Toyna to show me her pending homework, so we could finish it.
Toyna came down and sat with me on the floor. She looked straight at my face, as if trying to gauge how I was feeling. She then cautiously exclaimed, “I think you are feeling better now, Mama.” I smiled and said, “Yes! But how do you know I am feeling better?” She stood up quickly, with a look that said, “I thought so!” and said, “because you started scolding me and Yog again!” The blood left my face as I digested this comment. Was this Toynas perception about my normal self? She was quick to note that I did not felt so good about her comment, so she hurriedly added, “…and your face is also looking less red now!”
It doesn’t matter much on what she said, or what her perception is. I have known it for a long time that I need to take it easy on her. However, hearing it from her, yesterday, was a nice gentle reminder. Whenever, I think of that moment, I smile. I hope, I don’t give her many more chances to wish that I fall sick again.