Have been quite busy lately with boundaries between days and nights, weekday and weekends blurring into a haze. Life has been about juggling priorities and finding what needs the next set of attention.
While I am physically and mentally exhausted, I am kind of excited about this life. Why? -because it makes me feel I am important, like I am working on something big and it needs me to be there in order to come alive.
I have known a lot of people get this excited about work and honestly, I never thought I would join the same league as well. While I enjoy basking in the feeling of being important, deep down I don’t feel proud about it. It is like enjoying a cigarette for the temporary high that it provides, knowing very well that each new cigarette is burning you internally, permanently.
Why do I consider ‘feeling important’ not a healthy sign? In my opinion, there is a very fine line of difference between being confident and being over confident. Being confident is extremely necessary; being over confident puts us in our disaster path. If I view myself as being someone extremely important, it is a sure sign that I am over confident about myself.
We all enjoy the feeling of being important for someone; important for a project, mission, or goal which would perhaps fail if we are not there. But honestly speaking, is there anything so critical that would stop functioning if we ceased to exist being a part? I think not. Things might slow down a little, change course a little, but then life will still move on.
Then why do we give so much importance to being important? What do we get when we are important? Is it possible to still achieve the outcome we want, without the success of the outcome hitting us high in the head? I guess, it is all related to how important we think the outcome is vs. how important we think we are.