Love you Mom
What is that about being a mother that brings out the worst behavior of your child in front of you!?!! This question has been bothering me for days now. My kids, behave very well with grandparents, school teachers and others, i.e. till the time I appear on scene. The minute they see me, all their bottled up emotions, spill over in one devastating flood. Whenever I pick up Yog from school, I try and observe him from a distance before he gets to know that I am around. He seems to be all happy and playful and not the least bit stressed out. But that is until he sees me. A split second image of me, will have him scream and cry as if he was being subjected to third degree torture in school and I should rescue him immediately. Teachers smile at his behavior and reassure me that he was just fine till…
The same scene repeats when I get back from office in the evening. Not only Yog, Toyna too goes through such emotions once in a while. She will be strong and responsible when I am not around, but the minute I appear on the scene, her worst fears and worries will all pour out. Come to think of it, it is not just Yog and Toyna but most children in my family, who tend to behave like this. I babysit for nieces and nephews once in a while and always have them behave so well with me, until their mother appears on the scene.
Handling such regular pour outs can be immensely draining for a mother. It takes a lot of emotional and physical strength to be constantly dealing with such powerful emotions from your children. Wondering what to do about it, I thought I should consult my mother on the subject. That is when, I realized that leave alone the children that I know, I, myself still do that in front of my mother. I will be strong and in control when I am on my own. But as soon as I meet or talk to my Mom, all the bent up worries and problems come out like a broken down dam.
Hah! If I can continue to do that in front of my mother till date, I have little hope of trying to control my children.
I guess, for the entire mankind, Mother is the only haven where we have the freedom to be who we really want to be. We don’t need to be in control. We don’t need to be polite. We don’t need to be on our own. We can just close our eyes and trust that when in the company of our mothers, the world will be just fine. Even when she is sixty five years old, she will still be able to guide us, protect us and hug us in a way that the world feels safe. I guess I am blessed to be a mother, and to have a mother who still can make me feel like that even when she is thousands of miles away from me.
Love you Mom!