Here is the blunt truth – I was completely lost, till my children found me.
They say parents are the ones to guide, support, and nourish their children. I agree; I might have done all that for my children in the physical sense of the word. I have provided food, shelter, and clothes to them. But in return they have provided me a reason to laugh, a reason to believe, and a reason to live. Maybe, if I didn’t have them in my life, I would have made millions, traveled to the moon and back, and lived life as if there was no tomorrow. Since I have had them in my life, I have spent all my savings in tuition fees and classes; I have managed a 30 minute walk every alternate day and I plan for not only today and tomorrow but ten, twenty, thirty years from now. But the most important thing is that I have learnt to dream. Now I dream for them. I dream for me.
No matter how battered my body or my soul is, they give me a reason to stand up again and keep moving forward. Even when I have given up on myself, they refuse to give up on me. They believe in me with such conviction that I have no choice but to believe in myself.
After I had my daughter 10 years ago, I didn’t think I would ever have a second child. I was a firm believer of a small, happy family. I never thought I could manage the responsibility of two kids and still have a life of my own. Six years down the line, I realized that the most important defining moment for my life was when my daughter was born. She had found the lost “me” in me. It was then that I realized I had the opportunity of doubling my fortunes by having another child. Once decided, I counted days, months, missed periods and miscarriages, waiting to receive the gift again. This time around, the gift turned out to be a boy. From the day that I have held him in abdomen, my arms and now by finger, I have seen the miracles unfolding around me. In spite of the poo, the pee, the vomits and the sleepless night, life couldn’t have been more beautiful! Yes, I have days when I feel I can’t possibly go on. The exhaustion, both physical and mental can really pull me down. But then one look at both of them and I know I don’t have a choice but to keep moving on. They are counting on me to be strong. I could never possibly let them down.
I have two of them, my spouse, my parents and my friends to cherish and love in life. But for them, I am their world. From the smallest bruise to the biggest prize, nothing is complete without me being a part of it. From the minute I get home from work, they both are around me, trying to get my love and attention. Their drawings are for me. Their dance is for me. Their stories are all for me. Their love for me fills any void that could have ever existed in my life. I know it is bound to change over the years. But for now, I am exalting in the luxury of being the most important person in the lives of two most beautiful people in the world.
So you see, it is actually they who have defined me, made me the person that I am. I have much more to be thankful to them, than they to me. Their Mother is their creation and I am sure they are pretty proud of her. This Mother’s Day, I thank them for finding me when they did, else I would have probably had no reason to come back from the moon.