The First First Love

We all know the importance of “First Love” in life. We swear by it. We live by it and we can even die by it! While the term is often used in a romantic context, remembering those from the other sex (or same sex as one would prefer), in my opinion, first love extends beyond romantic vision only. I vividly remember that pink lace dress, the grey lean cycle, the new Maths book or even the busy Mumbai city that I fell head over heels in love with. Essentially speaking in every sphere of life that we enter, we are bound to have First Loves. I think these small things play a vital role in helping us learn and grow into the next phase of life. I, therefore, believe that there are many First Loves in our lives. But amongst all these, which is actually the First First love? I found my answer a few days back hugging a wet Yog in the middle of the steps. This is how the story goes:

Few days back, as I was readying Toyna for school, Yog woke up on his own and started crying for me. As he started his journey from his bedroom to the kitchen where I was readying breakfast, he met his Nanny in the middle of the steps. His Nanny tried to hug and console him, but he rudely brushed her away and insisted on finding his Mom. As I was still busy in the kitchen, I requested Toyna to go and take care of Yog. As Toyna approached Yog, he got even more furious. He only wanted his Mama, first thing this morning. I abandoned the dough on the rolling plate and went to meet Yog standing in the middle of the steps, tears flowing down his cheeks and his pee making a nice, big, warm waterfall on the steps. I gathered him in my arms and hugged him tightly. He hugged me back like there was nothing else in the world that could matter more to him than his mom.

It was on this day that I realized that no matter who we are and where we come from, our Mom would always be the First Love of our lives. I used to think that it is not really love, it is dependence that causes children to be so close to their Moms. But as Yog outgrows the stage of physical dependence, I realize his need for me cannot be explained merely as dependence. He just loves his mom because I was and I will always be his First First Love. Even before he fell in love with motorcycles, blankets, puzzles or laptops, he was already In love with me. In fact even before he tasted his first food, or had his first milk, or even before he was born, he was already in love with me. This is not just about the relationship that Yog and Toyna have with me. This is the same story that all children are bound to have with their mothers.

This is why the bond between a child and a mother can never be explained. No matter how far a child might step away in the world, the invisible umbilical cord will still keep them connected with their Moms. In my experience of being a daughter to one mother and a mother to two children, I can say the relationship between a mother and a child is probably the most beautiful relationship that God created. I thank God for making me a woman so that I could live this relationship many times over.