- If you realized your child was lying to you
- If your team was hiding critical facts
- If your partner in love was willfully misleading you
- Would punishing the child, stop them from lying?
- Would reprimanding the team, stop them from hiding?
- Would blaming and fighting with the partner, stop them from misleading?
All three may seem like very different situations but perhaps stem from the same root cause – Lack of trust.
- The child doesn’t trust that you will understand, therefore they lie.
- The team doesn’t trust that you will support, therefore they hide.
- And the partner doesn’t trust that you will care, understand and support, and therefore they mislead.
If one was to solve these three problems the answer then would be very simple – Build the trust! As soon as we think of this answer, many of us will instantly think – But I have done everything already. If they still don’t trust me, then it is not my problem. Well, unless we consciously want an unruly kid, an under productive and demotivated team, and an unhappy relationship; it is definitely our problem to solve.
If we agree that we need to build trust, we then will ask how does one build trust?
- By repeating 100 times a day – I trust you, or
- By taking them on exotic vacations, or
- By buying expensive gifts for them