I have been missing someone all day and have been thinking why do we miss certain people when they are not around us. Is it because we are so used to having them around us, that when they are not there, something just feels amiss? That would mean that people are like furniture in our lives, we are just used to having them there. I am not too happy with that line of thought and don’t think that is the only reason we miss someone.
To analyze it more, I tried to think, what exactly is that I am missing about the person. Some things that came to mind instantly were – the adorable smile which can melt my heart, the hug which says I am there, the hysterical laughs at some of the worst PJs, the fights which we know no one is going to win, the walks where we have lost our way, the discussions about nothing and everything, and many more moments etched in my heart.
Have a long list of things I miss, but I still don’t know why I am missing the one person to whom they belong. I guess some emotions don’t follow laws of logic; they can never be defined, measured or analyzed; they just have to given enough room to flow at their own pace. We cannot create them and we cannot destroy them. We can try and control them, but that only aggravates them more. We should just acknowledge their presence, let them live their time and let them die a natural death.
The only challenge I see in this approach is that – some emotions actually make us sad and if we let them run unbridled then we could be extremely sad for a long time. On second thoughts, emotions don’t make us sad, it is our thoughts which come from that emotion that make us sad. For example – I can chose to miss someone with fond memories and plan happily for the time we are together again, or I can chose to miss someone, crying over their absence from the present.
Emotions in essence are neutral. We put a package of thought around them and define them as happy or sad. If we remember that even though we cannot control emotions, we can control our thoughts, we would perhaps be much happier.