A good friend sent a message late yesterday night with a simple line, “We are pregnant!” followed by, “I need to speak to you!” My heart swelled with pride, love, joy, gratefulness and every other positive emotion that is humanly possible. From this first sentence on, I knew he got the whole thing about pregnancy right. He didn’t say, “She is Pregnant!”. He said, “We are Pregnant!”.
While on the face of it, some folks might think that men don’t really have to do much with pregnancy but the fact is that they actually contribute equally to the whole thing, literally and figuratively speaking. Just as an example, most lucky men have run out of handkerchiefs, patience, money and the biggest of all – time with their wives, by the time pregnancy draws to a close. This is when, they realize that all their hard work to create and get the unknown creature into the world, actually culminated in the unknown creature (hereinafter referred to as the “Alien”) possessing the mind, body and soul of their, one and only, wife. The sexy partner that they once knew could now only serve the purpose of a fat, milking cow who was either feeding, sleeping or crying 24 *7 * 52.
Jokes apart, being a two-time mother, I know what it takes to go through the pregnancy and the first six months of child care. No matter how beautiful it feels, it is physically and emotionally draining. Under the circumstances, women tend to get a lot of sympathy and support but no one really turns around to look at the Father. I have never really been a first time Father myself, but I can imagine how it must feel like. You are as alien to this new born creature as it is to you. You have not had a decent night sleep in months, but you are still expected to work hard during the day and earn double the salary, as you now have an extra mouth to feed. You can never differentiate between the zillion of reasons why this Alien keeps relentlessly crying. But your wife can decipher the exact reason just by listening to the sound of one cry, even when she herself is in the shower. Yeah! there is a code language somewhere in between there, which only the Alien and your wife can understand. In before alien times, you would have hugged and confided in your wife about how helpless you feel. But now she doesn’t have a second to hear you, leave alone see you cry. Congratulations!! You won a baby (oops Alien I mean) but you just lost your wife in the process!
This blog is, therefore, dedicated to all Dads who once upon a time, had a wife. I know being a Dad is as difficult as being a Mom. Being a Mom, you are responsible for the welfare of the children. But being a Dad, you are responsible for the welfare of the Aliens as well as their Mom. You have to watch out for the entire clan and keep it safe. Being a Dad, you are an equal part of the miracle and you should keep it that way. So yes, “Congratulations once again to both of you on being pregnant!!”
One solid advice that I can give you at this stage is – Like all other Dads, out there, if you cannot defeat the Alien, join the Alien and you wife on the journey to the Aliens planet. On this planet, things are pretty simple, yet miraculous. The biggest rewards for hours of hard work are simply given in the form of a “Burp”. Smelling, feeling and dissecting Poo Poo is considered part of a days job. When the Alien goes to sleep, you can actually feel the time stop still. And if you haven’t really found the purpose of your life, as yet, chances are you will discover that as well on this planet.
P.S – It has been two and half years since our latest Alien inhabited our world. Honestly speaking my husband is still fighting a losing battle trying to find any remnants of his once wife clothed under layers of motherhood.