The most important thing about life is “life” itself. When life goes out of the system, there is nothing left. Unfortunately, most people, including me, forget this basic principle and tend to give importance to a lot of ancillary things like food, clothes, and relationships. In the process of gathering these ancillary distractions we forget this basic essence of life.
Over the years, I have heard these words from a number of Gurus and spiritual books . Till some days ago, I believed that I understood these words. However, the true meaning of these words hit me a few days back when I lost my second mother, “Amma” to an organ transplant gone horribly wrong. I vividly remember the hospital room with numerous machines ticking around her, keeping her body alive. The difference between body and soul has never been more stark to me, as it was in that moment. Her body was still warm. It was still breathing. It was still pumping blood, but the soul had already departed. Throughout the coming days, I felt her soul near me, smiling at me and sometimes even hugging me. Even today, I catch myself looking forward to talking to her, watching her play with children or cooking food in the kitchen. I feel her warm presence like a halo around me, still keeping all of us safe. Still saying, “Don’t worry Shilpa! I am here! Everything will be all right!”
I know close family worries about me, and the responsibilities I have on my shoulders, now. But honestly, I don’t worry as much about what food we will eat or whether I will be able to keep the house clean. I don’t worry about these ancillary things because Amma, even in her last breath left me this wonderful lesson that the most important thing about life is “life” itself. As long as I am alive, I will sort out the house one day. One day, I will learn to cook like her. One day, I will be able to manage relationships like her. One day, I will meet her again.
Till then, I will continue to thank God for sending Amma in my life and for keeping life breathing inside me. I also thank the many full of life, family members who have been around us since that fateful moment. They constantly remind me on how to live life, even when there is nothing but an empty road that I see ahead of me, for now.
P.S – There are innumerable emotions right now brimming inside me. I am sure there will many more thoughts that will pour forward in the coming days.
Toyna drew this drawing of Amma maybe two years ago.