How do you show love to your daughter
By keeping her indoors and making her wear long overhauls
Or by teaching her self defense and self respect
It is a bad world out there, but guess what – she is already a part of this world
How do you show love to your son
By telling him which courses to do and pushing him to be more competitive
Or by listening to his dreams and letting him cry on your shoulder
It is a tough world out there, but guess what – you gave birth to a son, not a robot
How do you show love to your wife
By ferrying her around in the passenger seat and discouraging her to drive on her own
Or by letting her spread her wings, telling her you are there to catch her if she falls
You just want to keep her safe, but guess what – no one guaranteed you are going to live longer than her
How do you show love to your parents
By keeping them close to you in a house which suffocates them
Or by creating a space for them where they are positively engaged and taken care of
You just want to keep them happy, but guess what – are they?
Lastly, how do you show your love to yourself
By staying strong, no matter how weak you feel inside
Or by talking about your fears and opening up to your own family
You always want to take care of everyone, but guess what – each member in your family (including you) is uniquely gifted and very much capable to taking care of themselves, supporting each other and you
Looking at how men protect their family to a point of suffocating them, I sometimes feel privileged to have grown up in an all women household. No one told us what we could or could not do because there was no one else to do it, but us. I started driving a car in my first job, fixing broken appliances in school and standing up to bullies in school, college and work. There was no one to protect me but me. And guess what, I am so much stronger just because of that.
You are a man, a strong one at that. You love your family undeniably. But loving someone doesn’t mean protecting and guiding them to the point they forget how to walk on their own. Loving someone means overcoming your own fears and enabling them to run on their own, so that they can learn to fly. Fly so high that no wind, no rain, no man can ever cause them harm.
I now live in a family with a loving husband and an adoring son. Each day, I push my own limits under their loving gaze. They know I can fall and get hurt. But hey! guess what – they know, so can they.