Yog: Mama, please don’t go to office
Mama: I have to go to office today. I have a meeting in office.
Yog: I will also come to office with you. I will also sit in meeting.
Mama: Yes Yog! When you grow big, you will go to office and meetings. Then, Mama will not go to office. I will stay at home.
As soon as these words are out of my mouth, I feel a sharp pull at my heart. I realize that as Yog and Toyna grow big, our roles will be reversed. I will be at home, waiting for both of them to call me or come and meet me. But I know that they will not have time for me then. They will be busy in their lives, like we are busy in our lives right now. Just like Yog reminds me to come home soon, I will remind Yog and Toyna to come home on time. Like they keep themselves busy during the day, I will also keep myself busy during the day with jobs, hobbies and activities. However, as soon as the evening shadows will return, just like Yog waits for me to return and envelop him in my arms, my eyes will wait for both of them to return and give me a hug. I know most days, they will not return home on time. Even when they return, they will not have time to hug me.
As these thoughts cross my mind, my heart shudders. I am modern, independent woman, but I still cannot take out the mother from inside of me. I cannot accept that life will be like this in the future. While I have the courage to leave a crying Yog behind when I go to work, I cannot gather the courage to think that Yog will do the same to me, when I am sixty five years old.
While I worry about my state 25 years from now, I chance upon our parents, tapping their wrinkled fingers on the iPad screen, trying to restore the internet connection. I realize that in our passion for building a resilient business, we had already gifted the future I am dreading, to our parents, as their reality of today.
Since we have made our choice to focus on work leaving both children and parents behind, it is only natural that we should be prepared to face the same future when our children make the same choices. But sadly, I am not ready for this future. At least, not yet.
As I step out to wear my shoes, Yog gives me a hug.
Yog: Mama, promise me you will miss me.
Mama (with a heavy heart): I promise I will miss you.
Yog: Ok Mama! I will miss you too! Be Careful!