My Biggest Fight is within Me

Human life is like waves. We peak, we crest, we fall. We go flat for some time, until the time we start to peak again, riding high on a new relationship, a new project or simply a new reward. With each new rising, we forget the last fall. We spread our wings expecting to keep flying higher and higher, expecting to keep receiving, expecting to be the best out of all. This is when we crest and we fall. While the rise is slow, steady and heady, the fall happens in an instant crash. Depending on how high we rose with the wave, the crash is pretty much equivalent, breaking our bones or shaking our core to the point that we forget the rising completely.

This is nature. What goes up has to come down. And yet, we forget.

For me, my quest for life is to be able to remember that human life is cyclic. Nature (Prakriti) is cyclic. As long as I am in human form, I will rise and I will fall. Can I remember the fall when I am rising? Can I remember the rising when I fall? Can I, one day, minimize the peaks and live in equilibrium? Can I, one day, eradicate the peaks and falls completely? Can I, one day, experience that I am not the wave in the ocean but the ever expansive, unlimited ocean itself.

So yes, this is the fight inside me every time I am riding high on a wave. It is the pull inside my heart reminding me the rise is only temporary, the fall is coming up just ahead. It is the fight inside me telling me not to lose hope when I fall cause the rise is just around the bend. It is the fight inside me not to search for rewards and acknowledgements but to dissolve completely in living life each moment.

As I study Vedanta and try and understand the gist of life, there are times, I tend to step back a little from life viewing the wave for what it is, trying not to get caught up inside of it. But then there are times, when I forget, I rise and I fall.

Signing off until the next rising.