Do you Own your Spouse?

” Do you own your spouse?”

Rather, “Did you buy your spouse in the open market through bidding, betting or negotiating?”

Well, in case you did buy your spouse, then you have every right in the world to own them. You have every right to dictate what they wear; what they eat; how much they sleep and how much they are supposed to earn. No questions asked! You sure must’ve paid a hefty price to own them, so you have every right, now, to control their lives. Needless to say, I pity those spouses who sold their pride, dreams and individual entity to be, from this day forward, called the spouse of  XXX.

Fortunately or unfortunately, my family never had enough money to buy a husband for me. I, therefore, did not marry for money. For those like me, who did not pay dowry to buy their spouse, can we still claim single ownership rights to our Man/Wife? Do we think we have the right to dictate terms on how they lead their lives, right from the food they eat to the career choices they make?

Somehow even without paying the money, most spouses come with a certain right of entitlement on their better halves. I often see husbands negotiating with their wives in order to spend a week off with their friends (male or female friends – that is another dimension all together, which we cannot discuss right now). On the other side, I see wives begging for a day off from children and house chores to spend quality time on a hobby they have been nurturing since long. Why do spouses need permission to lead their own dreams? Just because, the Registrar stamped our marriage certificate, does it mean that we gave up our individual right to freedom?

Is the marriage certificate really a certificate to tie us down within the constraints of this world? Is it a certificate that should restrict and controls our dreams, our needs and the very purpose of our life. Conversations like these are all too common, ” Oh, so you wanted to be a Rockstar! Too bad, that you got married to me! How will you support me, and kids and your parents on the erratic nature of a Rockstar income! ” Such conversations force us to make the difficult choice between maintaining a spouse or maintaining our dream! Most of us, choose our spouse even when we see our dreams fading away into oblivion.

Unless we paid money to buy our spouse, my recommendation is that spouses should support each other as best friends/partners in their journey of life. For those who sold their soul in the process of getting married, I am sorry to say that you have already written off your life. Maybe you will stand a chance to win a Best Friend/Partner for life in your next life! Till such time, may God give you courage to lead a purposeless life of slavery. Amen!